I hope you are all doing well! Life has been jam packed for me the past few weeks, but I work best under stress with a lot on my plate (good thing or I would be in trouble!). I have been very blessed in this past week to land a job teaching summer school in a really great school district! I will also spend my summer nannying for a really great family as well. I am so thankful for both of these opportunities! It feels great to have graduated from college and have a job lined up that is in relation to my degree.
This week not only marks out the excitement for the final 6 days of prep before the 2012 Minnesota State Championships, but it also includes the countdown of my finals days of student teaching and living here in Point. For all of you that have competed before, you know what an emotional roller coaster peak week is, so to add these two other variables into the equation are going to make it a great obstacle to overcome.
This week Wednesday is the last day of school for my students. I have been in the classroom with the same group of second graders since October. It is going to be very difficult knowing that I will not get to see their smiling faces every day. I wrote each student a note and included pictures from the year from field trips and other fun things that we did. I have a very hard time letting go and saying goodbye from my past since I never had closure to say goodbye to my dad so in doing things like this I am able to let go. I know that each one of my students has memories of me, and they know how special and important they are. I feel more at ease having to say goodbye to them knowing there is closure.
On Thursday, the teachers will spend a full day at school cleaning up their room etc. This is going to be an even more emotional day because I have to say goodbye to now, who is like a best friend to me, Mrs. S. She has been the most amazing mentor I could ever ask for, and outside of giving me the tools I need to become a great teacher, she has supported my dreams and goals, and has had my back along the way. She has done so much for me and I could not thank her enough. I know I can always come back and visit her, but it will be very, very sad knowing that I will not get to spend each day with her.
|Mrs. S and me at my college graduation|
After school on Thursday, I am probably going to be extremely emotional and before I head off on my adventure to Minnesota, I have to get one final workout in. The Strength Center opens up again this week, so I will be able to workout in there one last time. It will break my heart as I walk out of the doors of the gym, and have to officially say goodbye to my second home, and the wonderful memories, and people that have come into my life because of that place.
Finally, after saying goodbye to my students, Mrs. S, the gym, and my friends...I will have to drive out of Stevens Point knowing that my time here has come to and end. I had an amazing experience living here the past four years of my life and attending UW-SP. This is where I discovered who I am, and what I truly want out of life. This place will always feel like home to me, and I hope someday I can live here again. All great things must come to an end, so that new experiences and opportunities can find you on the next journey.
...and then I'll be off for a 3.5 hour drive to Minnesota and stay with my friend Lori! Let the excitement begin!!!!!!!!!!!!
The final week of prep is always very exciting. So many things run through my head, and the anticipation increases daily knowing that I get to shine on stage again soon. It is so rewarding to see daily changes at this point as well. Right now, hands down, I am the most conditioned I have ever been in my entire life. I feel amazing and I am very proud with the way I am looking. My prep coach, Laura Gutilla, has been nothing but supportive and encouraging along the way. She has helped me climb over walls of obstacles and push me to the top. I feel at ease knowing she will be there every last step of the way to ensure I am on point the day of the show, and I couldn't be more thankful.
This show isn't about beating anyone except myself. I am not happy or proud of the way I looked at the Showdown, so MN state is an opportunity to set new goals, and go after them. I want to be proud of myself and know that I did my very best. I want to look at pictures and think, "Wow! I can't believe I look like that!" or "I can't believe how far I have come!"
The final week of prep also brings along more emotions that come at the end of the process. The whole time I am getting ready for a show, it is my priority and every single day the decisions I make are impacted on the final outcome of my competition and goals. I always feel on top of the world, and each day I feel like I have a purpose. Once Saturday, June 9th is over and Sunday morning rolls around, there is an empty hole. This happens to me after every show. Waking up knowing I don't have to do a.m. cardio if I don't want to, knowing I can ultimately eat anything I want, knowing that if I'm holding water here or my abs don't look perfect it wont matter because the show is over. I always feel like my purpose went away, and it feels like something is missing.
This time around, I am going to head into my "off-season" with a different approach. I am going to stay in control of my actions and make sure that I continue to work hard and maintain the condition my body is in. I know it is not healthy to look stage ready year round..and that isn't my goal. But this time around I will really want to stay within 5 lbs so that when I have my game plan made up to move onto the National Level, prep won't be as long, and instead I can focus my energy into tweaking the areas that my body needs to improve on.
Thank you everyone for your support. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers this week as it is going to be a challenge...I am going to need that extra push.
<3 SJ xo