Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Everyday is a Challenge

Wake up to the sound of my alarm clock, it is 5am. I take what energy I have and get myself out of bed and into my workout clothes, put my contacts in and look in the mirror. Posted on my mirror I have a note that says 11 WEEKS OUT to remind me why I am dong this. I  put on my jacket and boots and walk to the gym in the dark and cold. Its morning cardio time whether I want it to be or not. I swipe my card and head over to the scale to see how my cut has been affecting my weight. Another morning of seeing 136 on the scale. I can feel and see the changes my body is making and how I am leaning out, but I have yet to cut more than 5lbs.

The first ten minutes or slow on the bike seem to drag on by as I can think how I wish I was still in bed or how badly I want to eat my first meal but I get past it and I peddle harder. My ipod helps me get through my workout, and after every mile biked, I feel one step closer to my goal. I usually bike or 30-60 minutes depending on how much time I have in the morning. My foot is still giving me trouble so I really only have the option for cardio and that is to ride the bike. I cannot wait for it to finally heal so I can teach Zumba again and reunite with my good friend the StairMaster again :) 

After cardio I put on my jacket and boots and walk back home where I will get to enjoy meal 1 for the day. Lately my #1 choice has been my protein pancake (see post for recipe). It is warm, filling, and delicious. My college student day is now starting at about 7am. Homework, studying is done in the morning before class, and I look at my schedule to make sure I have enough meals packed for my time on campus, and also plan when I am going to lift. Sometimes I lift during my open hours between classes and other times I have to wait to face to dark and cold again and walk to the gym in the evening and battle for machines with all of the athletes that think they walk on water.

Being a competitor and a college student is a challenge every single day. I watch friends and peers stress over their course load, and their job(s) if they have one and I think to myself, do they even realize what is on my plate? Do my professors realize it? When I am walking down the street I watch people having fun and talking with their friends and all I can think about is "How much longer til my next meal? What is that meal going to be? Oh my gosh its only 3pm and I am done eating carbs for the day. When am I going to lift? Am I going to have to fight a football player for the squat rack? When am I going to have time to cook and pre-measure all my meals for the next few days and write that term paper?  Ohh how I wish I could eat some chocolate right now. What time is it?..its 9pm already and I have to be up at 5 to do this all again" the list goes on and on. All while this is going through my head I still have to try to get through class, work my jobs, and try to maintain social relationships with others.

It is really difficult to find people that understand me and are willing to 'put up' with my lifestyle. Typical college students usually go out and drink, eat fast food because it is usually more affordable, stay up past 9pm, and sleep in on weekends. It is even harder trying to find someone that I can even imagine dedicating my own time to and forming a relationship.

"Do you want to go out to eat" 
"I cant go out to eat, I am in training" 

"Oh well do you want to grab a drink" 
"I have not consumed alcohol in almost a year. Obviously if I cannot eat shitty food I cannot drink."

"Want to go to a movie later tonight?"
"No I cant, I have to pack my meals for tomorrow and get to bed early so that I can do my first round of cardio in the morning"

"Oh I bought you a candy bar, I thought you could use it"
"Save it for 11 more weeks. I cannot have sugar."
"You look great, I think you can have just one"

THEY DONT GET IT!! The list is endless. Every day is a challenge, but I face it knowing that it will be worth it in the end. And I now I will never, ever give up. The individuals I have that are really supporting me, and the people I have found to be true friends are amazing and I could not do this some days without them. Every day I just have to remind myself of my goals and how badly I want this. I have the worth ethic and passion to make it happen, just have to take it one day at a time.

Well time for cardio, homework and well, you know the rest :)
Good Night- SJ xo

1 comment:

  1. I love you booboo! You're amazing, passionate, tough, and you're gonna fulfill all your goals!!! How do I know? Cuz I know you never give up :) You have helped me get through some of my darkest days through my own prep, and I am SO thankful for that and you! Keep it up, it's all gonna be worth it :) XOXO